The Power of Your Exact Words
What to Say During EFT Tapping
EFT consists of two essential elements:
Element #1: Embracing the Truth of where we are right now
By "Truth," I mean the emotions, thoughts, beliefs, or physical sensations you experience in the present moment (even if you're working on a past event). The first step is becoming aware of your current situation and accepting it. Honor your truth and own it.
The Setup Statement accomplishes this effectively by combining two principles from modern psychology:
Exposure therapy
Cognitive therapy
The first part of your Setup Statement exposes you to the issue you're facing—your truth. The second part incorporates an element of cognitive therapy designed to help you develop self-acceptance.
Here are some example Setup Statements:
“Even though I got angry at my partner, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I’m anxious about getting on a plane, I accept myself and how I feel.”
“Even though I’m stressed about my work presentation, I choose to be kind to myself.”
Element #2: The tapping process itself
Tapping on specific points on the body and head sends a calming signal to the brain, reassuring you that you are OK and safe, no matter the issue. As you tap and breathe deeply, you become more in touch with your body and less caught up in your thoughts, making it easier to pinpoint how you feel.
No one knows better than you what you’re going through or where you feel it in your body. Research shows that people who experience the same traumatic event or disaster often respond differently; the circumstance is the same, however each person’s experience is unique. No one can replicate your words or your truth.
As certified Clinical EFT Practitioners, we work with our clients' exact words. We don’t put words into their mouths because doing so would be based on our own assumptions, not their lived experience.
Key takeaways:
A. Using your own words matters. External resources can inspire you to get started, but you don’t need them—you already have what you need within you.
B. Trust yourself to know what to say. You only need to affirm how you feel, what you think, what you believe, and where you feel it in your body.
C. When you're unsure what to say, try this:
Keep tapping and breathing while focusing on what and how you feel. This will quiet your mind, and the words will come to you.
Spoiler alert: The words don’t matter as much as simply tapping and staying present with what’s happening inside of you.
D. Focus on the negative.
We need to address what’s happening in our lives right now, which is often a negative experience—otherwise, we wouldn’t need EFT to feel better!
As you clear negative emotions, guess what happens? You start feeling better, your perception shifts, and new ideas emerge. Eventually, you won’t feel the need to tap on that specific issue anymore.
While tapping on the positive has its place, it’s for another discussion. If you try to focus on a positive that doesn’t feel true, you risk self-sabotage, ending up back where you started.